The Things Hyotei Does!
by Snowpoppy
Summary: As stated above, the things Hyotei does. But of course, the things they do aren't normal. Mild cussing may be included. May or may not be a drabble collection. Chapter three: Mukahi 'Bakes' a 'Cake'
1. Atobe Sings Opera

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Hyotei Academy and Prince of Tennis.**_

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**I just felt like writing this... it was a plot bunny attacking my mind... and the result was this little drabble on Hyotei. I don't know if I'll make this a multi-chapter thing, but who knows... so far I have it planned like one. :)**

**Enjoy.**

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It was a normal day at Hyotei. Actually, it was not.

Atobe was singing. Singing an aria, to be exact. To be even more exact, he was singing Casta diva, from Bellini's _Norma_. In Italian.

"Tempraaaaa tu... de corii ardentiiiii~!"

Mukahi, poor thing he was, dove under a bench and smashed his ears in, determined not to listen. Shishido soon joined him, even though they were 'enemies'.

Hiyoshi muttered something about going to the bathroom. Ootori, kind thing he was, suddenly had the idea that he needed grip tape for his racket- although actually he went to a convenience store and bought earplugs for the whole team.

Jiro went inside the school to find a more peaceful classroom so he could sleep. Who could possibly sleep listening to _that _voice? Nobody, and that included Akutagawa.

Oshitari, ever the tensai, stood there, magically and tensai-ly resisting Atobe's horrible opera singing. Kabaji too stood there, well-used to his master's antics. He was already part-deaf, anyway.

Why was it so horrible? After all, Atobe had been trained in singing, and received countless singing lessons from masters all around the world.

Just that Casta diva, beautiful though it was, was designed for a soprano. Or, in other words, a soprano was meant to sing it. And was Atobe a soprano? Not at all. He was bass.

Not a soprano.

Meanwhile, Sakaki retreated within his office and shut the door firmly. Even with the door closed, the sound of Atobe's wailing and cracked voice still reached in and tormented the poor coach.

He opened up his laptop. Typing in 'Casta diva aria' in Google search, he came up with a multitude of results. There was a video, which the coach skipped. There was a Wikipedia article on it, which he clicked on.

Then he quickly pressed back.

A number of searches later, Sakaki learned that Casta diva was one of the most difficult arias to master. He also learned that it was designed to show off the skills and emotion of a... soprano.

Outside, Oshitari couldn't stand it anymore.

"Ah! Belloooo a me... riiitornaaaaaaaa-"

"Atobe."

"Del raggioooo tuoo de serenooo... e vita nel tuuuooo seeeenoooo... e paaatriaaaa e cieeelooo av-"

Atobe was promptly slapped on the mouth.

"Atobe." Oshitari's body and voice held no trace of apology.

"Why did you interrupt?! 200 laps around the court!"

"Atobe, your voice was killing everyone. Do you see anyone around here?"

Silence. Atobe looked around the court. No one, except for Oshitari and two strangely familiar butts peeking out from under a bench. The others were gone. "Where did they go?" He asked.

"They ran away."

Oh, the harshness of reality...

Instead, Atobe drew himself up. He gazed around spectacularly for a moment...

And the rest of the Hyotei regulars crept in again, save for a still-napping Jiro.

"Do not dare run away from ore-sama's great opera singing ever again!"

"Great opera singing, huh?..."

"What did you say, Shishido?"

"Nothing, buchou."

With no further delay, Atobe opened his mouth and let loose a mangled version of Casta diva, one of the most famous arias and most beautiful _if sung properly._

But Atobe's version did not sound like a dying cat.

It did not sound like a true soprano's version of Casta diva (obviously).

It sounded like a dying hippopotamus making one last attempt at European culture.

Alas, Mukahi repeated exactly what he thought. Shishido nodded in agreement, surprised to find that he agreed with Mukahi the asshole.

"What?!" Atobe was enraged. "My luscious, gorgeous, singing- what?!"

Mukahi had just added that his ears were going to fall off if Atobe didn't shut up that instant.

"Six hundred laps around Japan- NOW!"

Mukahi shrugged and jogged out of the courts, probably to find some cute girls on the street (and not to run those laps). Oshitari glanced after him, but soon returned his attention to doing nothing and observing.

Because after all, each member of Hyotei did what it could do best.

Atobe sang opera (specifically Italian opera).

Oshitari observed.

Mukahi ran his mouth constantly (not knowing he looked like a girl).

Shishido shouted at everybody.

Ootori tried to be nice and sane.

Hiyoshi overthrew people, places, and things (he once said he would overthrow Atobe, Vienna, and bubblegum).

Jiro slept in classroom 3-A.

Kabaji followed Atobe around and said 'usu'.

Hyotei was Hyotei, and not even Casta diva from Bellini's _Norma_ could interfere with that.

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**How did you like it? I know it was short, but alas, who cares. I enjoyed writing this and I hope all you peeps enjoyed reading it too. Let me know in a review whether you did or did not!  
**

**Expect another chapter, expect this to be complete. It depends. **

**~Snowpoppy**


	2. Chotarou and Halloween Do Not Match

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Prince of Tennis.**_

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**Tee-hee! I decided to make this a multi-chapter endeavor. Anyway, I hope you like this chapter because I enjoyed writing it. **

**Remember to drop a short review somewhere! Reviews and anything else related are my life. **

**Enjoy.**

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Ootori Chotarou was never the toughest boy. He was on the girly side, and sometimes he even had no idea why he played tennis (and wow, he was good at it too).

That was why he was scared of Halloween. Somehow, he was scared of it. He didn't like the idea of costumes, and the spidery witchy association most people think of when the holiday is mentioned.

"Hey! Ootori!" Atobe's voice transmitted over the phone. "I request- no, order- your attendance at an informal Halloween party today!"

"Halloween... party?"

"Yes, you unintelligent being."

"Who'll be there?"

"The whole team."

Chotarou gulped. If he told Atobe that he was scared of Halloween, he knew that it would be the end of his life as he knew it.

"Um... okay. I'll be there." The tall boy hoped that the meekness he felt wouldn't be transferred over to his voice.

"Six o'clock sharp tonight."

_Click._

Oh, what was he going to do?

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Chotarou showed up at the Atobe residence one minute late.

He entered and promptly received the shock of his life. His team members were clad in costumes. Some were in knight armor, one was in a ghoul costume, others were vampires, werewolves, or secret magicians.

He gulped, as the one in knight armor (Atobe) glared at him. "Why aren't you in a costume?"

"I thought it was a party..."

Shishido butted in. "You idiot! It's a _Halloween_ party, obviously!"

"...Oh..."

"Get out and go buy a costume, then!"

"...Okay..."

And with that, Ootori Chotarou was kicked out of the Atobe mansion in about one minute and thirty-nine seconds.

He tottered out onto the street to find a Wal-Mart.

He found one after ten minutes of ambling around. Once inside, he headed over to the costume section, which was prominently displayed because it was Halloween. He mulled over the different choices, standing there in the aisle.

Chotarou had narrowed it down to three choices: Merlin, Boots, and Sunny the Care-bear.

Eventually, after ten more minutes of thought, he decided to take the Care-bear costume.

He bought it and put it on in the bathroom. Once he came out though, A LOT of stares were directed his way. Some curious, some disapproving (kids these days!), and others humored.

It was a yellow furry thing with a hood where Chotarou's innocent face peeked out. He walked out onto the street proudly wearing his new costume, totally not aware that he had suddenly turned into the One-Man Comedy Show.

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Hyotei freaked out when Ootori Chotarou the Care-bear turned up at Atobe's front door.

"Oh my god, Chotarou..." Shishido whispered in a scandalized voice. "Did some motherfucker force that onto you?" He looked up at the grey-haired boy, his eyes showing pity.

"No," He replied, a little puzzled. "I bought it at Wal-Mart."

Mukahi peeked out and gasped. "Don't tell me you're wearing a Care-bear costume, Ootori... just don't." His bloody-red lipstick was smeared across his face at an attempt to be a vampire.

"He is." Oshitari's voice joined the conversation.

"What's wrong with Sunny the care-bear?" Chotarou asked, a little miffed that the reception to his costume wasn't very well-received.

"Chotarou... if you can't see what's wrong with a thirteen year-old wearing a Care-bear costume... then you have problems..." Shishido's voice was close to breaking as he regarded his fool of a doubles partner.

"Let's take one minute to pray for Ootori's sanity and intelligence," Mukahi said and assumed prayer, mumbling something under his breath.

Strangely, Atobe wasn't there to make fun of Chotarou. He was off in a bathroom 'dying' of 'food poisoning' after eating a cracker that had touched the floor. Frankly, nobody really missed him except Kabaji, who was standing in front of the bathroom door listening to Atobe's death throes.

But at that moment, the devil aforementioned decided to show up, a little 'green' in the face and tottering over. "What is the commotion?" He wailed. "Is it my funeral barge?"

"Shut up," Mukahi snapped. "We're praying for Ootori here, don't you see?"

Atobe looked up and for the first time, really saw Chotarou. "Oh my god," He said, speechless. "What happened?" His purple eyes stared up into Chotarou's, somehow mimicking Shishido perfectly.

"I told you, I bought it at Wal-Mart... and are we going to be standing here forever?"

Chotarou was still standing just outside the door, with the rest of Hyotei standing inside on the wood floor (naturally made from the rarest and most expensive wood possible, of course).

"Come in, then," Oshitari said.

"No! Don't come in!" Atobe shrieked. "You're disgracing my family name! And Hyotei's! Look behind you!"

Chotarou looked back. A small crowd of people were gazing at him, awed. Little had he known the attention he had attracted on the street had followed onto the Atobe residence.

He waved a little uncertainly. "Hi," He said, remembering his mother's warning not to talk to strangers.

"Hi!" The crowd chorused back, laughing a little. They obviously thought this was some cute Halloween act, with the actor (Chotarou) being paid to do this. After all, who in their right mind would dress up as a Care-bear for Halloween?

Ahem, except for the six year-old girls. But sadly, Chotarou was NOT one of them.

To Atobe's horror, a few camera's flashed, revealing the smirking face of Niou Masaharu and Zaizen Hikaru.

"My blackmail..." The trickster whispered reverently.

"My blog..." The other whispered just as reverently.

"WAAAAAAAAH!" Atobe screamed, being sure his life was over.

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The next day, a video and pictures showing Chotarou dressed up as Sunny the Care-bear and Atobe screaming were made public on Zaizen's blog.

Soon after that, the Tokyo Times featured the two on front page with headlines streaming: 'Teenagers Enjoying Halloween'.

For the regulars of Hyotei, that was the end of their life.

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**How did you like it? When I was little, I was obsessed with Care-bears.**** :)  
**

**Read and review! Feel free to drop any ideas for the next chapter.**

**~Snowpoppy**


	3. Mukahi 'Bakes' a 'Cake'

**Hee! I'm starting to enjoy writing crack more and more. I hope you like this chapter!**

**Enjoy.**

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See, Mukahi Gakuto had a problem. His problem went as the following: his mom's birthday was today. And he had no idea what to get for her (he had just remembered it _was _his mom's birthday- he had thought it was in July).

Clothes? Nope, she had way too much of that. Anything he bought for her would probably go to the bottom of the pile.

Jewelry? Nope, she had worn the same jewelry for twenty-six plus years. As if she would switch now.

Card? Nope, that was for Mother's Day. Besides, he had given her a card for just about every holiday since he was born.

Food? Ooh... that sounded plausible. Maybe he could share...

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Just when Mukahi was going to run out and buy his mother a cake, he found out that it was January 2.

Yeah... January 2 _was _his mom's birthday, right?

Then he discovered that most businesses were closed, due to New Year's Day being a national holiday.

Aw... shit. What else could he do? Bake the cake himself?

Yeah! That's right! Except for the tiny fact that Mukahi had no idea how to bake anything! But that's alright! Because you could always call up your best friend, Oshitari Yuushi for help!

"Hey. Yuushi."

"...Hmm?"

"Get over here."

"...Why?"

"I'm going to bake a cake..." Mukahi could positively feel the blush on his cheeks.

"Oh... really." Yuushi was probably over the line trying not to laugh his butt off. Mukahi? Cake? Oh boy, was he coming over to see _that _happening. "Sure, I'll be right over."

_*chuckle chuckle* _"This will be quite a sight to see, ne?"

Mukahi was standing in the kitchen with a very determined look on his face. He had on an apron, and was just about to clap his hands and twirl around twice when Yuushi stepped in.

The look on the blue-haired boy's face was priceless... Niou Masaharu from Rikkai would've paid anything to use it... for blackmail maybe? "Gakuto... what the hell are you wearing?"

The acrobatic tennis player was wearing a lacy apron with strawberries embroidered on it, courtesy of his mother. "Shut up!" He snapped and began taking out every bowl he could find.

That was when Oshitari interrupted. "Gakuto, I brought a recipe. Do you know how to bake a cake?" There was the slightest trace of doubt in his voice, but then how would Mukahi Gakuto know how to bake/cook anything?

But of course, manly pride was at stake. "Of course I know how to, Yuushi!" Mukahi said and lied through his buckteeth (though he didn't have any).

"Okay then..." Oshitari leaned against a wall and prepared to observe his doubles partner in what he believed would be an epic disaster.

Mukahi glared at him. "You're supposed to _help, _you idiot!"

"I told you, I brought a recipe."

"..."

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Alright. Mukahi's brain was working as hard as it could, which wasn't very fast. He figured out that a cake should have flour, eggs, butter, and sugar in about fifteen minutes of pondering.

But then, how much would he put in? He decided to be smart and pour the whole bag of flour in. After all, cakes are made of lots of flour, right?

Oh, but it looked a bit too much. So Mukahi decided to pour some of it out into the trash. And then, whoops, poured out a bit too much. Oh well.

Next: Sugar!

Mukahi liked sugar, and whatever he liked he was sure his mom liked too. So he dumped a couple pitchers of sugar into the mixture and stared at his white mass proudly.

"See, Yuushi? This is going to become a cake." He pointed to the bowl of flour and sugar.

"I'm sure it will, Gakuto..." Oshitari coughed, looking at the pile of white... stuff.

The red-haired boy proceeded to take out a stick of butter and place it on top of the mixture. "You know," Oshitari interrupted. "You're supposed to melt it."

"Who cares?!" Mukahi snapped. "It'll melt when I bake it, anyway." He shoved the stick of butter further into the flour/sugar, where it remained lodged. Then he took out one egg, which he tried to crack.

Unfortunately, the sticky mess got stuck all over his hands, which Mukahi sincerely hoped were clean. He didn't want to crack another egg so he just scraped it off into the bowl.

Okay.

1/2 bag flour

2 quarts sugar

1 stick unmelted butter

1/2-1 egg

That sounded just about right. "Do I need anything else?" Mukahi looked at Oshitari, who shrugged his shoulders and held out the recipe, which Mukahi pushed away.

"Oh well," He looked at his 'cake batter' apprehensively. "Into the oven it goes!" He picked up the bowl and was ready to shove it into the oven when our dear tensai intervened and said, "Gakuto, I think you need to put it into a special mold first."

"Oh. Right."

Mukahi retrieved a cake-mold-thingy and scraped his batter into the pan. Surprisingly, it was very dry. We wonder why, ne?

"All ready!" He literally threw the pan into the oven and turned the heat on to a temperature he hoped was right. "Now... we go play video games!" Mukahi smiled, glad to have finished with the whole sticky business (pardon the pun!).

_45 minutes later-_

"Gakuto."

"Hmm?" Mukahi was currently immersed in his Nintendo, his eyes wide as saucers.

"You might want to check on the cake." Oshitari, meanwhile, was also focusing on the game, speaking out of the side of his mouth. Mukahi was Mario and he was Luigi.

"Wait."

_45 minutes later-_

"Gakuto, your cake is going to be burnt."

"Okay."

_30 minutes later-_

The smell of smoke reached Mukahi's nose. "Hey, isn't that my cake?" He jumped up.

Oshitari sighed, and hoped Mukahi wouldn't be too disappointed with the result.

"Hyaaaaaaah!" came a scream from the kitchen. "What HAPPENED?!"

Oshitari sighed again.

The cake was black blob of thing. He touched it, and... trust me, Oshitari Yuushi had _nightmares_ about it.

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When Mukahi Yukira came home (aka Mukahi's mom), she was greeted by a shaking Gakuto... who was holding something.

"Here's your birthday cake, kaa-san!"

"Arigatou... Gakuto... let's save it for later, ne?"

"Okay then."

The day after, Mukahi's cake 'mysteriously disappeared' and was never seen again. We wonder where it went, ne?

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**How was it? I have NO IDEA on how to bake a cake, so I imagine myself as Mukahi and wrote down what I knew. And that's the end of Mukahi and his cake! Wonder if the cake went into the trash, huh? :D**

**Read and review! See you soon.**

**~Snowpoppy**


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